Day 349

 

December 15th, 2010

 

December 15th, 2011

Well, I'm officially tired. I didn't find any motivation for unpacking today, but I did finish decorating the house for Christmas (that's something right?).

Gus was in a mood today... he got up in a bad mood and it just stayed with him all day. I hate when he has bad days, it makes it all the more difficult for me.

Steve got to stay home this morning for a bit (the World 50 Christmas party was last night so they gave everyone extra time to come in this morning) and it was nice. After he left for work, Gus and I worked on decorating the tree and we listened to Christmas music. :-)

Gus had his breakfast and then a snack and played with his toys while I decorated.

 I put him down for a nap at 11:30 and he slept until 1:00. He woke up in (what I thought was) an okay mood. We had lunch and he seriously had a HUGE tantrum at the table.

 

Eating his chicken and oranges...

 

Within seconds... over wanting one of my chocolate covered Ritz crackers

I decided to head to Target (it's three and a half miles away-- which I LOVE!!!) and when I got there, the parking spot wasn't anywhere near a cart. Usually I put Gus in the cart outside and wheel him in, but since there wasn't a cart, he walked in with me and when I got a cart and tried to put him into it, he FLIPPED OUT. A sweet old lady came over (she was in a motorized scooter actually, so she rolled over) and was trying to help, but it just freaked him out more. 

I was a bit embarrassed, but I was able to eventually get him into the cart. Once he was in and strapped down, he was fine. We trekked all over the store and finally got all that we needed and checked out. We got home and I talked to my mom for a bit on the phone.

This morning, I got a FB message from Emily (Scott's best friend) saying that she wanted us to know that she'd be honored to be a surrogate for us. I was overwhelmed with joy-- how absolutely wonderful!!

So then, this morning while Gus was napping, I got another FB message from one of my sorority sisters and she wanted me to know that she's currently a surrogate for a friend and if I had any questions to let her know. So I asked some basic ones and what she responded has made me decide that surrogacy isn't something I'm interested in pursuing anymore.

She said that both women would have to go through extensive rounds of shots to get hormone levels right... and medication would have to be taken to "sync our cycles" and then it'd be IVF (not covered by our insurance) which is anywhere from $15-$30k and then if that takes we'd have to pay medical expenses and get an attorney and bla bla bla... and at the end of it all, it'd be anywhere from $40,000-$80,000. I couldn't believe it... it's so expensive and then I had a moment of clairity... I'm totally okay with adopting another child. I don't have to have a child of my own DNA. I think God knew I'd be open to adopting a child and that's why I'm not able to produce one of my own... if I could, I wouldn't be opening my heart to a baby that needs a loving family.

Last night, Steve was looking at the paper and in the "County by County" section, there's listings of things happening in each county. He noticed that in our county, there was an information meeting for Beacon House Adoption Agency coming up in January. I decided to check them out today, and was pleased with what I found. I requested an information packet from them, found another site and requested information and then requested info from Bethany as well. A&W just adopted through Bethany and they have nothing but great things to say about them... I figured it can't hurt to get information.

We can't look into adoption until we have the house in NC sold and some money saved. I think the plan is to get info now, sit on it for a bit and decide which agency is the right one for us, and then March/April/May start the process. I'd like there to be at least two years between Gus and a sibling, and since adoption is so unknown, it could be anywhere from three months to two years before we would get a baby!

Anyway... Steve got home and we made dinner. Gus was interested in helping me go through another box...

 

Hmmm... what's this for?

I don't remember what sparked the comment, but at one point tonight, I said something to Steve and his reply was along the lines of, "Let me stand on the counter so you can kiss my ass..." I said something back about him not getting on the counter and he decided to prove me wrong. :-)  I swear I love him so much- he seriously makes me laugh!!!

 

Climbing onto the counter

 

Yes, he pulled his pants down and mooned me (and I did take pictures) but I won't post them... 

 

After the mooning. I love Gus just sitting in his chair in the background (LOL)

 

Refusing to eat dinner AGAIN but loving his milk!

 

Fun in the tub

Tomorrow is Friday. I can't believe we've been in this house for a week as tomorrow late late late. We haven't done too poorly with being here a week... this weekend I hope to get everything unpacked. We're going to do the bedroom together and tomorrow Gus and I are going to tackle the basement. It shouldn't be too bad... it's all toys.

See you tomorrow!

 

Gus and Purry Como

Day 340

 

December 6th, 2010

 

December 6th, 2011

We had a pretty good day today. Gus was wide-awake at 6:50 which led Steve to getting up with Gus while I got in the shower. It made for a long morning, but Gus went down for a nap at 10:00 and slept until 1:30!! When he got up he was in a great mood!

 

Snuggled in his blanket this morning

 

Helping daddy fold the clothes...  :-)

 

Playing in his frog hamper

This afternoon I decided to watch Gone With the Wind. I had never seen it, and I was certain that I'd hate it. It was on AMC at Thanksgiving and I had saved it to the DVR and decided to give it a go this afternoon. Guess what? I LOVED IT!!! I kept calling Scarlet "Charlotte" and I kept calling Rhett "Rex" but other than those to issues, it was fantastic. It had surprises that I didn't see coming and the ending... oh man. I had heard the famous quote many times before, but never in the context of the movie. AMAZING.

We gave Gus a bath tonight and he had a GREAT time as usual.

 

Checking out the water

 

Trying to catch it

 

Absolute joy!

So I posted something on Facebook asking friends if they had any connections to surrogacy to give me some info. I had several people comment on the post, and then a few messages about it. One message absolutely shocked me. A very good friend from college offered to be a surrogate for us. I wasn't really asking anyone to do this for us, just asking for info, but she offered. I'm not sure if it'll happen, or what the details are, but it's amazing to me that she offered her body for us.

She's in MI and when I looked online, everything that I found said that surrogacy in MI is illegal. Basically, it's illegal to pay someone money to be a surrogate for you. She'd be considered the birth mother (even if the baby is biologically ours) and then we'd have to adopt our baby from her and her husband. Weird. Costly. I'm not sure how expensive it'd be, but knowing that just the attorney fees to adopt would be at least $10k. Add to that the price for IVF/embryotic transplant... it could be like $20k to do it.

So, there's a lot of negatives to doing it, but she also offered some info about an infertility treatment program. She also got info for a doctor in the Atlanta area, and I am going to check it out. Her sisters both struggled with getting pregnant (she was going to surrogate for them) and then they went through this program and both got pregnant and had babies. So who knows... but I'll definitely check it out.

And then another person that we know here in NC said that she's always wanted to be a surrogate, and for me to keep her in mind if it's something that we seriously pursue. It's at least nice to know that there are people in our lives that are willing to help in this way if needed!!

Tomorrow I'm going to get my nails off. I'm doing the shallack stuff for a while and it'll give me more time between appointments and save me money. 

I started packing a bag for us today. It's got stuff in it that we'll take in the car when we move. Just clothes and towels and stuff, so that if the movers are delayed for any reason, we've got stuff to get by. It's crazy to think that we leave in three days.

See you tomorrow!

Sister Wives

The whole concept behind having sister wives is interesting to me. I'm not sure how having many wives is pleasing/serving God, but to each his or her own. 

I don't know what it is about the Brown family, but they appeal to me, and I enjoy watching their show on TLC each week. They are as "normal" as any other family, and I often forget that it's one man (Cody) with four wives. They just seem like the kind of people that you'd meet out and about and like. They're nothing like the image that I originally had of polygamists like Warren Jeffs. To their credit, they speak out against what Jeffs does, and they try to educate others about how they are NOT LDS Mormons.

Here's a family tree:

It's hard to read, so I'm going to do a synopsis of each family (to the best of my memory). 

Cody Brown is the man of the family. He married Meri first, and she's his only legal wife. They have one daughter. I think she's my favorite because she's very grounded, down to Earth, and struggled with unexplained infertility after having her daughter. She and Cody tried to get pregnant for YEARS and it just never happened for her. Cody has said that Meri is the love of his life, and his soul-mate.

Now... Cody married Meri, Janelle, and Christine and THEN they had kids. So all their children have grown up only knowing them as their moms, and the three sister wives have been apart of the raising of each child. 

The second wife is Janelle. She's very business-like and isn't into frilly things. Cody says that Janelle is his best friend. He likes being around her because she's easy to love, their marriage is easy, and they're genuinely friends above all else.

Janelle has six kids... one of her kids (Hunter) is kinda going through a lot of teen angst. He's not accepting of the newest wife (Robin). Janelle is a working mom and handles a lot of the finances for the Brown family.

Christine is wife number three and by far, my least favorite. She's rude, obnoxious, and I just find her to be arrogant. For the longest time, she was the third and last wife, and I am sure felt that Cody preferred her over the other two. She has a new baby and stays home to take care of the Brown children that are not school-aged. I just find her to be full of herself when it comes to how she deals with Meri and Janelle.

She has six children as well, and one that I can't stand (Gwendolen). When Robin was brought into the picture, Christine immediately felt threatened and jealous and as a result, has had a lot of marital issues with Cody.

The most interesting thing about Christine is that her mom became Cody's dad's second wife (sister wife). His dad and mom were together and not plural and then when his dad met Christine's mom... he added her as his second sister wife. WEIRD!!

Then there's Robin. She was married before, has three children with her ex-husband and she and Meri were friends prior to her joining the family. She was not on the first season of the show. She was introduced to Cody by Meri, and then Cody courted her, and asked her to marry him. This caused a stir in the home, because the Brown's had children in high school, and they were old enough to put things together.

Many of the older children have not accepted Robin as their mom. Robin is kind of annoying to me... she's insecure and whiney and I just don't really like her that much.

Cody is in love with Robin and they've been on their honeymoon for quite some time. She's made it clear to the other wives, that her parents were in love for her entire life, and she wants that kind of lovey-dovey relationship with Cody. The other wives (especially Christine) have said that they think Cody is much different with Robin than with them, and Christine has come out and said she thinks he prefers Robin over all others.

Robin announced her pregnancy at the beginning of this season, and we've been watching her pregnancy progress and the way the other kids and wives have been dealing with the new baby.

Okay... so now you have the back-story and now I want to write about this season finale and how it made me feel.

As I said above, Meri and Cody have been trying to get pregnant for years without any luck. Their daughter is like 14 or 15 and so, for like 12+ years they've been trying to have another baby. He shared that he wanted to do IVF, but Meri said no because she didn't think it'd be worth the money or heart-ache if it didn't take.

So she's yearned for a baby, and when Robin announced her pregnancy, she wanted to tell Meri first, and in private. When she told her, Meri was excited, but also sad at the same time. I could totally relate to her feelings. I feel the same when friends tell me that they're pregnant... I'm totally excited for them, but it's like another reminder to me that I'm not.

So, she has her baby in the last episode... and Meri is like super excited and because she and Robin were friends before she joined the family, they share a very special bond. All the wives and kids come to the house to meet the baby (Solomon) and take pictures and of course I was crying while watching because it was so sweet.

Then Robin tells everyone that she needs to talk to Meri alone. 

As Meri is holding baby Solomon, Robin tells her that she'd been thinking about something for a really long time, and wanted to finally share her thoughts with Meri. Then she offered to be a surrogate for Meri. It was incredible. I had (and do right now) tears streaming down my face as I watched.

Meri didn't give her an answer, and Robin said that she didn't have to answer her, but she wanted her to know, that she whole-heartedly wanted to offer to be a surrogate for her.

This got me thinking... what an incredible gift. I don't know what goes into surrogacy and how expensive it is in relation to adoption, but it totally got me thinking. I don't think I'd ever want to use someone that I didn't know-- too much risk involved and not something I could handle. 

The thought of someone offering to carry a baby for me... it was mind-blowing and of course had me crying. Obviously, I don't have anyone asking me to do this, but it just got me thinking and had me super emotional. I'm not sure why we aren't able to get pregnant. I'm working on losing weight... trying to eat better, but as I'm getting older, it's that much more difficult.

I just don't know why we're on the path that we're on. I try to let go and leave it up to God, but it's so hard. I know that adoption was something we were meant to do and God was calling us to adopt. The timing was impeccable, and it all happened as it was meant to happen. I just don't know about the rest of the plan. 

As much as I want another child, and I REALLY REALLY DO. I just don't know about adoption. It's super hard... and so stressful on a family. Obviously, the easy thing would be to have your own child and you avoid all the drama that comes with adoption... but that's not happening. 

So I don't know. I just know that the gift of someone offering to be a surrogate is something that I can't even fathom. I'll keep my fingers crossed that Meri accepts the incredible offer that Robin made, and she will get to hold her own baby in seasons to come.