Karate Kid

About a month ago, I was with two friends talking about karate classes. Both have their boys (about a year older than Gus) in karate and were telling me about how much they love it for their boys. I had been looking around online for classes for Gus, but every place that I looked, requires you to come in for a free class before they'll give you the costs involved. Always a bad sign when you can't get the cost before going in.

So I had just figured that it was something we wouldn't ever do because of the cost. Well, they told me that there was a Groupon for $30 and you get a uniform and 18 classes. It's an unbeatable price. However, there's a catch (there always is). When you get to the fourth class, they'll offer to let you sign on with their dojo and waive the $250 registration fee, but you have to let go of the remaining 14 classes that you have coming for free. In exchange for waiving the $250 registration fee, you pay $100+ a month (something like that) for twice a week classes. If you choose to keep doing the Groupon and all 18 classes, at the end, if you want to sign up to continue classes, you have to pay the $250 registration fee.

The other option is to pay $99 for 6 weeks at a time. I am not sure what we'll do, since we haven't started official classes yet, and I don't have anything in writing yet, but it's something to consider.

So a few days after this conversation, my friend Heather called me to say that her son's class was having a "Bring a Friend" promotion and she asked if Gus wanted to come and try a class with her son Garner. We were excited! Not only had I already bought the Groupon, but I needed to go to a class eventually anyway, so we decided to give it a try.

Gus was very excited to see Garner and was excited to see what it was all about. When the kids enter the floor, they're supposed to bow (for respect) and then gather at the back. Gus followed Garner through this process.

When  the class began, the master came over and each child was called and they said, "Yes, Sir!" and headed to the floor.

 

Gus and Garner

Once in their spots, they did a few warm-ups and then as each child listened to what the masters were saying, the masters were watching for exceptional listeners. The kids that did everything perfectly were given a high-five sheet that they took to their parent. Heather said that they collect these sheets and then when they get five, they get a stripe on their belt. Very awesome.

They got into lines and practiced kicking and punching and then the masters (there were three) took small groups aside, and Gus was able to work one-on-one with one of the masters. It was really neat.

 

Warming-up (Gus was facing the wrong way)

 

In line doing kicks

The thing that I liked the most was the respect that was demanded. They had to say, "Yes, sir" or "No, sir" after each question they were asked. I think it'll be a great thing for Gus and a great way to harness some of his energy.

We were told that our first class would be July 1st, but they moved it back to July 15th. So this coming Tuesday will be Gus's first class and he'll go Tuesdays and Thursdays. The third class is when he earns his belt, and I can't wait to see him earn it. Because of the summer schedule, they had to move the time back from 4:00-4:30 to 5:15-5:45 on the 22nd and 24th. I'm excited because these will be the 3rd and 4th classes for Gus, and Steve will be able to come with us to watch Gus earn his belt. It'll be so special.

I'll be sure to post pictures after his first class next week!!

Visitors

 

One of my favorite pictures of Gus and Claire

The month of May was a whirl-wind of activity and visitors for us. We celebrated Gus's fourth birthday at the beginning of the month and we were blessed to have Steve's dad and Sue Ann come down and be here to celebrate with us.

After they left, we had one week without visitors and then the following week, my mom and dad came down for a visit. They came on May 22nd and stayed through the 31st. It was so good to see them, as we had not seen them since our trip to North Carolina at New Years. Five months was a long time to go without seeing them and I was so happy to spend time with them.

They were here for Memorial Day and my dad was able to come with us to a lot of MOMS Club events. My mom recently fell and hurt her back, so she was not able to do anything with a lot of walking. Thankfully she was able to stay here in the AC and she was happy to relax and actually enjoy her vacation.

At the end of May, Gus's birth mom, Claire, came down with her boyfriend Ray. They've been dating for a year and it was our first time meeting him. We weren't sure what to expect, but when Claire came down at Christmas, she had told us about him and that she cared deeply for him and we were excited for her.

They arrived on May 28th and there were a few days when everyone was here at the same time. Thankfully, none of them cared about the overlap, and everyone had a great time together.

We said goodbye to my parents and then we had the rest of the weekend and the next week with just Claire and Ray. I really enjoyed our visit with them and so did Gus and Hugh. We went to the splash pad and Claire was able to meet some of my friends from MOMS Club. Some she had met back in December, but a few she had not met before.

I really enjoyed our visit with them. Ray is a very nice guy and cares a lot about Claire. I can see them eventually getting married, and it was important to see how Ray felt about kids in general, but also how he got along with Gus. Of course, Gus and Hugh loved him and immediately warmed up to him. Ray has a fun personality and is very easy to talk to. He's outgoing, considerate, and helpful. 

Here are some pictures that I took while they were visiting. I didn't take as many as I usually do, but I did get some good ones.

My feelings about our adoption are changing over time. I feel so strongly connected to Claire's side of our family and consider them all to be a second family. Everyone from Claire's grandparents, her aunts and uncles, her cousins, her parents... all of them just feel like family and all of them have welcomed us into their family with warm, loving, hearts. 

The other side of the equation has been rough from day one. It's been very difficult to form any sort of relationship with them, and I feel like every time two steps forward are made, four steps backward happen next. There's a feeling of entitlement that I get regarding them. I feel like they all feel entitled to a relationship with Gus and they all take for granted the amount of time/effort we put in, to include them in Gus's life. Recent events with Gus's birth father's sister have caused me to take a HUGE step back and reevaluate the relationship. In all honesty, I have to ask myself, "What's in the best interest of Gus" and that's always what I think about.

Is it in his best interest to be around people who call his mother (yep, that'd be me) names? No. Is it in his best interest to have him around people who use racial slurs? Words that are highly offensive to me as an individual, but more importantly, offensive as the mother of a child that's half black? Absolutely not. I have to think about how I feel about Gus's birth father's side of things. 

Do we have to have an open adoption with them? Absolutely not. Do we have to keep sending them texts with pictures and videos? Absolutely not. Do we have to keep them as Facebook friends so they can see pictures and videos of Gus? Absolutely not.

There's a lot of disrespect and I'm not happy with things. I don't need anyone to kiss my behind or feel like they have to do anything special to get to build a relationship with Gus. But, I do demand that I'm respected and I demand that when someone doesn't respect me, there's just as much anger on that side, as there is on mine. And right now, it's not happening. 

So, I'm not sure where the future will lead us, but right now, I have people that I consider to be family and the ones that I don't consider to be family, have been cut off to Gus or Hugh. The more things are said by others, the more that will be added to the list of not being connected to Gus and Hugh.

We are not going to Michigan or Indiana this summer, so it's wonderful that we were able to see Claire this May. Hopefully, she'll and Ray will be able to come back and see us again soon!!

VBS :: Weird Animals

 

Gus enjoying breakfast

Last year, we had just joined Christ the King when the school year ended and it was time for VBS (Vacation Bible School). As a former Catholic, VBS wasn't something that I grew up doing, and wasn't something I knew much about. Maybe it's not even that it's a Catholic thing, but a Southern thing. I don't remember ever seeing so many advertisements for VBS up North.

I had considered signing Gus up last year, but your child had to be potty trained (he was not) and the only way to get your younger children in the nursery was to be a volunteer. I had no desire to volunteer.

So this year, I still had not planned on sending Gus because it was the week after school was out and I didn't want to volunteer. Well, somehow or another, I was asked to take pictures for the week, and that counted as volunteering. So I was able to get Gus signed up, and Hugh was able to hang out in the nursery all week.

I wasn't sure what to make of the whole thing, but I went to the mandatory training and showed up at 8am on Monday morning ready for the volunteer breakfast.

Gus was very interested in sitting next to me in the church for the morning gathering, but he had to go sit with his "Zoo Crew" and he was very unhappy about that. It took a few days before he settled down in the morning. However, once he was with his group he had fun.

Here are some of my favorite pictures from the week:

Everyone gathering in the morning

Milton the Star-Nosed Mole

Pastor Brian as "Dr. Paws"

Look at that hand-made set!

Every day had a different animal and theme. Day one was "Even when you're left out... Jesus loves you!" The animal for the day was Axl

GORGEOUS

Snack time!

Gus at the games station

I stopped by the nursery each day to see Hugh :-)

The first day was amazing. I was honestly really impressed and found the whole experience to be a lot like Rainbow (a Catholic youth conference held annually in Detroit) but for little kids. Gus had a great time and enjoyed learning about Jesus and he loved the songs.

Here are pictures from Day 2:

 

Animal of the day was Fern (a dragon seahorse) and this was the theme

 

Gus's preschool crew leaders

 

Each day, the snack was different. On Tuesday, it was decorate your own cookie :-)

 

Pastor Brian sharing a video with the kids

 

Each day they made a different craft... these were grass heads :-)

 

This is Sandy, she's the director of youth and families for CTK

 

Hewy having fun in the nursery

 

They took the babies outside and traced their bodies with chalk. Here's his body outline :-)

 

Here are the pictures from Wednesday:

 

Dr. Paws spraying his laughing spray 

 

Gus laughed and laughed at this :-)

 

Animal of the day was Milton, the star-nosed mole

 

Each day, the older kids went to a station called "Bible Adventures" and there was a different biblical story that was told to the kids. On Wednesday, it was all about servant leadership

 

The snack for the day :-)

 

The preschoolers had recess twice a day-- I went out and took some pictures of the kids at their second recess for the day

 

Hugh in the nursery

By day four, I was exhausted and so was Gus. We had to get up each morning at 7am and leave the house by 7:20 so that we could get to CTK by 8am. It made for a long week, but it was definitely worth it!! Here are the pictures from Thursday:

 

Weird Animal of the day was Shredder

 

The craft for the day (the older kids made these)

 

Each child got a tag to wear on a necklace

 

The snack for the day

 

Bible Adventures theme was all about Jesus dying on the cross for our sins

 

Each child put their name on a heart and put it on the cross

 

At the end of the day gathering, the kids whispered their sins into a black garbage bag and then each crew leader tied the bags to the cross

 

Then an older child, dressed as Jesus, came and removed each bag of sins

 

And then the cross lit up. It was pretty awesome

 

The last day was great. The volunteers were treated to a pancake and bacon breakfast and it was the best surprise (all week we had bagels/fruit/donuts)! Gus was happy to indulge in pancakes.

 

The last Weird Animal was Iggy

Here's Gus's individual picture and his group picture:

Overall, it was a fantastic week and I'm really glad I volunteered and that Gus and Hugh were able to go. Next year, Gus will get a lot more out of it, because he'll be able to go with the kindergartners and Hugh will be with the preschoolers. It's crazy to think that next year, there won't be a baby in the nursery. :-(