Wednesday, December 22, 2010

MTv's 16 & Pregnant

So I just finished watching the season finale of season three of 16 & Pregnant. Each season there are ten girls that are 16 and pregnant, and the show documents their months of pregnancy leading up to their labor. Then there's about a month or so of life with a baby and being a new mom and a teen. There's always one girl that places her baby for adoption, and in season one it was Catelynn and Tyler, then season two it was a girl who was herself adopted, and then this season it was a girl who placed the baby with her aunt and uncle.

Being an adoptive mom, when I see the adoption episodes, I can't help but get sucked in moreso than I usually do, and I cry. Well, the episode from last night was just as interesting to me, but also was a bit eye-opening for me and I'm so glad I watched it.

For the longest time, I wondered if Gus's birth mom thought about him, or missed him, or had any feelings or thoughts about the adoption. She was so unattached and distant when we went to MI in May to meet her, that I wasn't sure what she was going through or thinking about. After watching the episode last night, I have no doubt that the decision for her to place Gus for adoption was heart-wrenching for her.

There's no way that she carried him inside her, and though it was very late in her pregnancy when she found out that she was pregnant, she still went through the labor pains, and delivered him (without any drugs BTW). She held him in her arms after she birthed him, and she had to find the strength within herself to place him into our arms and care forever.

It just makes me cry when I think about what it must have been like for her to make that decision and to actually go through with it. The most selfless act and yet, she was kind, sweet, and unassuming. She smiled and gave us hugs when she was discharged, and acted like it was all okay with her. Maybe it was, maybe she came to terms with things and realized that in time, the decision was going to be the best for Gus. Whatever was in her mind and heart, all I know is that she's the bravest, most amazing person on this planet. The fact that she was able to think of him and what was going to be best for him, and not get wrapped up in her own hurt, is incredible.

There's nothing I can do or say to ever let her know just how much she means to me. It's kinda stupid to think about things from my own perspective, but, she did give me the greatest gift and one that I can not give myself. I know she didn't place him with us because she wanted to give us the gift of life, but she did, and I am forever in her debt because of it.

I wanted to send her something for Christmas from Gus and Steve wasn't sure about it. We had pictures taken of him a few weeks ago and I ordered a few extra so that we could give them to family and friends. I ordered an extra sheet of wallets so that I could send them to her and let her pass them out as she wanted. I ended up taking Gus's handprint and making an ornament out of Model Magic. Then I gathered up some Burt's Bees and put them in a box, and then I had some of our favorite pictures of Gus printed on Snapfish. I sent them to her and her mom and then I also sent an ornament to her grandma (Gus's birth Great Grandma). Then I sent some pictures from his photo session and some of our favorites to his birth father and his mom. I hope they all enjoy their gifts from Gus.

As we get closer to Christmas, I can't help but think of how blessed I am and how thankful I am for all that I have. Not only am I a mom, but I get to stay at home with Gus and be there for each minute of his life. So many people wish they could be home with their children and they're not able-- I feel exceptionally lucky because he doesn't know a day without being with me.

I am hoping that we are able to add to our family soon. I'm not sure if it'll be adoption through foster or adoption through a friend of a friend kinda thing, but we're hoping to adopt another baby/child in the near future. There was a "possible" prospect just recently (a friend of a friend was pregnant and thinking about adoption, but is probably going to place the baby with family). I'm always praying that the right thing will happen and for peace. I'm already very blessed with Gus and I'm happy with him in my life.

Merry Christmas... I'll post again on Saturday with some pictures of Gus's first Christmas! I can't wait!! We're maybe going to have snow on Saturday, so that'd be a great gift!!
Until next time...


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