Sunday, December 09, 2012

Why Didn't I Think of That??

Sometimes I can be really dense. 

This weekend I was reminded again of how awesome open adoption is.

It started on accident, I suppose. Steve came across a post to Gus's birth mother's father on Facebook. The post was to him from his sister and she was asking about getting copies of the Santa picture.

Steve tagged me in a comment and asked if we could help. 

When I read through the post and comments, I literally had to sit back because a new relationship entered into our family. 

We've grown very close to Gus's birth mom's family. They are such wonderful people and have embraced us as their own since the day we joined together. Part of the love we have for them comes from how we were matched with Gus's birth mom. We naturally have a connection to his birth mom's side, because that's where the match came from (my cousin and Gus's birth mom's aunt were co-workers and good friends).

Gus's birth mom's mom and dad and brothers have been the people that we usually see on our trip north (along with Gus's birth father's family). We've met his birth mom's grandma (Great-Grandma Marge for Gus), as well as his birth father's mom's mom (his Great Grandma on that side). We met his birth father's father's mother when he was like a week old, but that's the only time we met her.

Anyway... don't know why I never thought about his birth mom's father (Tony) and his family, but the thought of them never entered my mind.

Like I said, I can be dense sometimes.

So when Tony's sister posted on his wall and asked him about getting pictures for their mom and dad (which would be great-grandparents for Gus), I was surprised. The fact that they care about Gus and want to see pictures of him just touched my heart. I instantly felt terrible for never even thinking about them in the beautiful equation that is our open adoption.

Steve and I offered our help and learned that they are not on the computer, so getting the picture via email isn't possible. Tony said that the next time we're in MI, he'd like to bring them to meet Gus. My heart swelled. How awesome.

When we went to bed last night, we talked about the situation. Steve wasn't even thinking right and was thinking about Great Grandma Marge... and I said, "No... this is Tony's side... " and with that, Steve said, "Oooooohhhhhh...." BINGO.

I guess we can both be dense. LOL

I just feel really honored to have the privilege of getting to know the wonderful extended family members on Gus's side of our family. I want them to know him and to feel connected to him, and I hope he enjoys meeting them. I hope that when we go to MI in the spring, he is able to meet Tony's side of the family and that it's not a one time visit.

It just makes me so happy and thankful that we have the open adoption that we have with them. I never want Gus to wonder where he comes from, who all of his family members are, and I want him to always know how many people love him and care about him. Even if we don't get to see them often, his side of our family is as important as my side is and Steve's side is.

When we have the honor of adding another child into our family, it's super important to us that Gus's side accept that baby and treat them like it's their grand child, great grand child, niece/nephew. And the birth family of the next baby should accept Gus into their family too.

We are a package deal and we all come together. Whether there's three of us, four of us, or even five of us (Steve doesn't want more than two kids... but you never know what God will bring you), we are all a family and our kiddos should be treated with love and kindness by all the family members in our family orchard.


Amber said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates

This is exactly how I feel our future is going to be. A's family is so excited to meet us and the way we seem to just "click" I see our families joining together!

MommySquared said... Best Blogger Tips[Reply to comment]Best Blogger Templates


Sometimes we forget how far our children's roots grow ... we've just been adding to our family as well with a set of great-grandparents and our youngest daughter's birth father and son ...

Happy Holidays!

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