Saturday, April 26, 2008

Song: "Leavin'" by Jesse McCartney
Mood: Happy

I can't believe how fast five years have passed. My nephew Eamon (my first nephew ever) turned five yesterday. It's just mind-boggling to me to think that he's five already.

I can remember when my brother called me to tell me that they were expecting. I was newly divorced from my ex and was just thrilled to become an aunt for the first time. When my brother called me nine months or so later, I was standing in a market area in Key West, Florida. I was on a cruise with Krissy and Amy and we had our first excursion in Key West. I was so excited to know that he was born and safe.

At that time, I had no idea what my future would look like. I was scared of being alone for the rest of my life and not ever finding happiness. Obviously, a lot can happen in five years! Now, I want a baby of my own. It's so hard to see people all around me having babies and relishing in the joy that a new life can bring. I think Steve and I will make great parents, but it's so stressful with each passing month. We're not getting any younger and I keep thinking, "What if it doesn't happen for us?" (Heavy sigh.)

We went and saw Baby Mama today. It was really funny and was totally right on with showing how it feels when you really want a baby, but can't have one. I'm not totally there yet... we're not giving up hope or having to use other methods (yet), but I could definitely empathize with Tina Fey's character. The movie was good, but the end was very predictable. I guess that's what I wanted to see... it would have been awful for a sad/unhappy ending.

Oh well...
Until next time


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