Being tied up in MI for two months had its ups and downs. The ups were getting to spend REALLY quality time with my parents. We lived with them for a little more than an month and while it was stressful at times, it was so great for them to get to bond with Gus. I can't think of any grandparents anywhere who wouldn't love to have their newborn grandchild at their disposal for over a month! My parents loved on Gus, fed him, helped me with changing him, and they helped to keep my mind off of the looming issues at hand.
The memories from our time with them in MI are some of my favorite. It's so fascinating to see your own parents interact with your child. With Gus being my first, it was incredible. I expected my mom to be lovey with him, but was totally shocked at how affectionate my dad was. I've asked numerous times since Gus was born, "Where was this man when I was growing up???" I love it. I love how open and loving and happy my dad is with Gus.
The downs to our time in MI are BIG. Mainly, being separated from Steve for six weeks. Not just any six weeks, but six incredibly stressful weeks. Six weeks of being a single mother, and six weeks of so many unknowns and so many fears.
There was a lot of stress with our adoption. Not knowing if Gus was going to be ours was awful. I refused to completely bond with him because I was scared to death that something bad was going to happen, and we were going to lose him. It's a fear that no one should have to face, and yet, adoptive parents face this fear every time they adopt.
Anyway... on July 10th, 2010, Steve flew up from NC and we were able to reunite again. It was the best day ever and not only were we united with Steve, but my older brother and his family had just arrived in MI from AZ. It had been years since we had seen them, so it was awesome to spend July 10th together with them.
On July 10th, we went to dinner as a family and it's the first time EVER, that my entire family was completed. Both of my brothers and their families, my family, and my parents-- all out for dinner and it's one of my most favorite memories.
On July 11th, we tearfully said goodbye to my parents and made our way back to NC with Gus. He was two months old, and it was (by far) the easiest 12 hour drive that we've had since! He slept for the majority of the trip and didn't have any troubles at all.
We arrived at home and it was so awesome to be back home. It wasn't awful being at my parents, but it wasn't my home. Gus wasn't in his crib, he wasn't in his nursery, and we were living out of a suitcase. So it was nice to be home and get settled. AND... I missed my fur kids!
I remember that first night home with Gus and sitting in the rocker in his room, the blue and white one that was a gift from one of my former parents at Oak Grove, and I held him as I fed him and tears streamed down my face.
While we were waiting for a baby, I would go into the nursery and sit in the chair and rock and dream about how awesome it would feel to hold my own child in that chair and rock them. The reality of our dream coming true, was a lot to take and I was overwhelmed with emotions.
That chair is so special to me. I still sit in it and rock with Gus before bed (sometimes) and read him a story. So many great things have happened in the last two years and two months. Who I am today, is so different from who I was two years, two months and a day ago.
Gus has changed my life and I am so grateful to be his mom.
Happy 26th months to my sweet, sweet angel baby!
2 comments:
TEARS! so grateful that God gave you guys a forever family with Gus. that our God completed the desire of your heart through that sweet little boy. love you, friend - sharing in your joy!
I'm all teared up as well. Our first night I sat w baby girl in the rocking chair I had cried alone in and finally had a baby to love. Being away from home, alone, w an infant makes you really realize how much of your daily like can be dropped and are not that important.
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