The last picture of us before becoming a family of four
There are some things in this world that you simply cannot prepare for. Heading into the unknown can be quite scary, especially if you're someone who likes to have things planned out and organized. It's very hard to let go and just "wing it" at times, but that's where faith comes in.
I have always had a strong faith in God and as I've gotten older, it's only grown stronger. My conviction has only intensified as I've been through many things in my life that have left me to either abandon my beliefs, or become even more devout.
Motherhood is one of those things where you cannot prepare for what it'll be like, until you're there. It was always a dream to be a mom. I wanted to be a teacher and a mom, and when the time came to choose between the two, without much doubt, I chose motherhood and haven't looked back.
Being Gus's mom has been the greatest blessing that I've known so far. Meeting Steve was the first best thing and then becoming a mom was the new best. I cannot put to words what this little boy means to me and how deeply my love for him is. He is my world. He has brought so much joy to my life and has made me feel like I'm being used as God intended.
When the prospect of another baby came our way, I jumped in without any hesitation. I was ready to expand our family and I knew that God placed B into our lives for a reason. There was never any doubt that she and I were cosmically connected and I always knew that the baby that she was carrying would be awesome. It'd be a miracle child.
What I wasn't sure of, was how could I love another child like I love my sweet Gustafer. It's impossible to replicate that kind of love, and my feelings for Gus could not possibly be replaced or repeated with child number two. Right?
I was so worried about how Gus would do with us adding a new addition to the family. Would he be jealous? Would he hate the new baby? Would he feel unloved and left out? All my fears and I wasn't sure of the answers.
My mom (so wise) told me that yes, he'd be jealous. He'd love the baby and hate the baby. He'd feel loved and unloved, and it'd all be okay. She has been right. And so far, it's been exactly perfect.
As crazy as it is to have two boys (and even crazier to say it), it's awesome. Here are a few reasons why having two kiddos is so incredibly amazing:
While the trying to get my attention at all times is hard, the moments of Gus and Hugh together are so sweet. I love watching Gus charter the waters of being a big brother, and I just know that he and Hugh are going to be the best of friends.
Our family (Hugh was in the Ergo under my hoodie)