A Month of Gratitude: Day 21

Day 21: Not Scammed

I just finished reading a blog post written by a hopeful adoptive mom, and it was all about how excited they were to FINALLY match with an expectant mom. They shared their good news with friends and family, and posted on FB that after like five years of starting the process, they had a match.

They met with this expectant mom, took her shopping, were going to be helping with financial assistance (something I am totally against), and then the agency called to let her know that it was a scam.

My heart aches for this family and for the ups and downs they've experienced with adoption. They started the process back in the summer of 2008 and are still waiting for a match and for their baby. How they do it, is just beyond me.

It made me so thankful though, that our adoption of Hugh had the happy ending that it had. Sometimes, I forget how crazy and far-fetched our match was with Hugh.

For those that do not know/remember... we met Hugh's birth mom online. We shared no one in common and never received any ultrasounds with her name or showing a baby. It wasn't until mid-October that I ever got a picture of her pregnant belly.

So from July-October, it was all just faith that she was even real and was legit. Thankfully, everything she told me was always correct and her "facts" always lined up. Honestly, I NEVER had any doubts about her and knew inside that we were destined to be connected. I just knew.

When I told friends about her, they were all immediately skeptical. I think it was because we didn't have anyone in common, and she was in another state. I know my friends were just looking out for my best interests and wanted to protect me from getting scammed. While we never gave any money, we could have been emotionally scammed.

For five months we were matched with her. I shared things with her via email and text that I never shared with anyone else. She and I were so similar and I felt so connected to her. I cared deeply for her as a person, and as a potential birth mother of a future child, it was a lot to take in. I just wanted to meet her and give her the biggest hug.

I don't know if I was in a fog, or just not 100% in the reality of the situation (I was probably guarding myself), but when I finally DID start to think about things, I had the first and only anxiety attack of my life. 

When we got to North Carolina, I was sitting outside enjoying the weather and the view, and I had a moment of, "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!?!" It was scary actually. I had another mild-panic attack and the reality of the whole thing hit me.

We didn't know her at all and were totally in another state, waiting on a phone call that might not ever come. As each day inched closer and closer to her due date, the fear was more and more real. While I "knew" it was going to be okay, I was also having second guesses. When her due date came and went... it got real.

I'll never forget sitting in the living room and setting my ring tone and text tone for her, so that when she did call/text, I'd know it was from her (those same text/ring tones are on my phone today). When she called me on the 18th, it was just after noon. It was the first time that I had heard her voice and she sounded exactly like I knew she'd sound.

She told me about her horrible day and that she was going to the doctor's and going to bed to be induced. She said she'd call me after meeting with the doctor.

She called me back around 8pm and said, "Are you ready to have a baby?" My heart leaped out of my chest and I screamed, "YES!!!!" We scurried out the door and arrived at the hospital just around 11pm.

When we walked into her room, I instantly fell in love with her. She was so awesome and so pregnant and hooked up to a million monitors. We hugged and it all clicked immediately. 

Hugh's whole adoption story is created by God. Every last detail was divinely made and crafted specifically for us. I'm just thankful that it all was as I knew it would be, and we didn't end up heart broken.

My heart goes out to all the waiting couples that are going to spend their Thanksgiving praying that this is their last one without the baby that they're waiting for. I am thankful that we had a total of five months of waiting for each of our boys, while there are people waiting five YEARS.