A Year of Gratitude #59: My faith
I was raised Catholic and went to mass weekly with my mom. I went to religious formation classes as a kid and enjoyed them, though, looking back, I wish I had paid more attention.
I went through a phase when I went to college, where I questioned my religion, and was curious about what else was out there. My beliefs never wavered during this period of religious exploration.
I went to a Pentecostal church, a Methodist church, a Baptist church, and a Lutheran church and lastly, a non-denominational church. Each new experience brought upon more and more questions, but yet, I still longed for more. I never had that "I'm at home" feeling.
If I'm being 100% honest, I STILL haven't found that feeling anywhere. However, that being said, I cannot deny my beliefs... or more simply put, my faith.
I know what I believe and I know what I feel in my heart. I KNOW there is a God and I believe adamantly in the holy trinity. I am most assuredly a Christian and believe that Jesus was sent to Earth to die for my sins, and the sins of mankind. He knew why he was sent here, and loved us so much that he let God's will be done without bucking the system.
I thank my mother for always instilling in me a solid sense of what is right and wrong, and for always helping to lay the foundation of my own faith. She is my most trusted spiritual advisor, and I am thankful that she's in my life, not only as my mom, but in this capacity as well.
When I am having moral issues, or questions about my beliefs versus what the Church says I should believe... I go to her. I hope to be as solid of a role model with my children, as she is with me.
There's never been a time in my life that I didn't know the Holy Trinity. I've always known that God, Jesus, and The Holy Spirit are apart of my life in equally profound ways. And even when I've considered leaving the Catholic Church, my convictions and beliefs haven't changed.
I don't think I need to drill it into Gus's head that he's a Christian. In fact, I don't know what he is... he'll get to decide that for himself when he's old enough. Until that time, it's our job as his parents, to give him a foundation and help him know God. I want him to know that he is special, that God loves him, and that Jesus and The Holy Spirit are always there for him.
I sometimes get sad when I think about friends and family members that don't have the same beliefs that I have, because I honestly think they're missing out on something wonderful. However, everyone is allowed to do as they so choose, and if they don't want a relationship with God, that's their right.
I am just thankful and full of gratitude that even though I don't agree with what my "religion" says... I know in my heart what my spiritual beliefs are. And to me, they're more important than anything any Church could tell me to believe.