Open Adoption Roundtable #22

Open Adoption Roundtable #22

"How will you be proactive in the area of open adoption in 2011?"

What a great question! I am hoping that 2011 will be just as good to us as 2010 was. I think we have a great relationship with Gus's birth family. We were so thankful that they wanted an open adoption, and while it would have been easy for us to just make it closed for our own feelings and insecurities, we knew it was best to have as open of an adoption as possible.

I think the thing that made me really become 100% pro-open adoption was when my twin brother and his fiance had their baby in August of 2009. My sweet, sweet niece Lily is such a joy to my life and brings me so much happiness. My brother and his fiance are not married and don't know when they will get married. We had not started the adoption process when she was born, but it was soon after our October 2009 trip to the mitten, and meeting her for the first time, that we actually came to terms with things and decided to really pursue adoption.

When we first thought about adoption, I wasn't sure if I wanted open. I was okay with semi-open, and wasn't sure about closed. Once Lily entered my life, I saw things differently.

I had a fear that my twin and his finace would break up and then I'd never get to see Lily again (not that my soon-to-be SIL would do that). It just hurt to think about the possibility of never knowing her and seeing her grow up, and her never to know me and Steve as her aunt and uncle. God did it hurt to imagine it.

That simple thought changed my views on adoption. Because the birth mom has family and they deserve to know their grandchild, niece, nephew, cousin, and more importantly, child.

I don't think I have the right to deny Gus's birth family from knowing him and being enveloped in the joy that he brings. His little being is so special and full of love. Who am I to deny anyone the right to be apart of that. And of all the people who deserve to know him and be just as captured and mesmorized by his persona, it's his birth family.

I feel that the more connected to his birth family that he is, the better he will be as a child, and adult. I know he will always be adopted, and he will always have that battle to face, but I hope through open communication, and an open adoption, he will know that his birth parents loved him so very much, and continue to love him. He has an extended birth family that loves him very much and they deserve to be apart of his life too, and we make them a priority.

This year, 2011, will be the year that Gus turns one. We will go to the mitten in May or June and he will see his birth parents for the first time since May 12th, and they will be amazed at how much he's grown and changed. They will smile, and laugh, and maybe even cry when they see just how beautiful he is, and how much joy he brings. And I will smile, laugh, and cry because they have shared this little person with me, and brought him into my heart. They have given me the greatest gift on the planet, and I have had the honor and priviledge of being in his world for every day of his life.

I do not ever take him for granted and I know just how amazing he is. The fact that I am a mom is a miracle and I know that Gus was put on this earth to be my baby, and to have so many people love him.

2011 will be a wonderful year for open adoption and very productive!!
>^..^<