Thursday, April 28, 2011

Day 118



So I'm going to bitch for a minute... and if you don't feel like reading about me bitching, just close this post now.

I am so very very lucky to be able to stay at home with Gus. I consider it to be the greatest job that I've ever had and raising him is nothing but amazing. That being said... I never wanted to be a single mom. I never wanted to do anything with raising a child... alone. Lately it's been too much. Steve's been gone all week and I feel like he was gone last week (he was) and then is going to be going away in two more weeks. I feel lonely and sad and I am frustrated. Now... I know Steve is working VERY hard for us and is doing everything that he can so that I can stay home- but it still SUCKS royal ass that he's not here.

I miss him coming home and sharing his day with me. I miss actually cooking dinner for us... since he's been gone I just make something for Gus and then I snack and end up hungry later. I miss his help with Gus and I miss having someone here to talk to. I don't think he fully understands how difficult it is to be here all day and then all night without him to talk to. I know there's nothing I can do about it... and it's all apart of the deal... but again, it sucks. Please don't read anything into this... it's just me throwing myself a pity-party.

Okay... that's done.

This morning I got up and actually had time to take a shower before Gus was up (SCORE)! We then went downstairs and I fed him some breakfast. He and I shared some cherry yogurt and then he and I shared some strawberries and cream oatmeal. He didn't love it.

Not long after, Kristen and Grace came over to play. I had a great time watching Gus and Grace... they're so funny together.





Then Wendy and the girls came over and the four kids played while the three of us talked. It was really nice. Gus loves his buddies and he was in heaven with all his favorite chicas around him!!


Grace is walking (hooray)!!! I took some cute pictures of her and Gus separately too:





 It was definitely nap time for the kids, so everyone left and I took Gus up for his nap. He slept for almost three hours!! :D

When he finally woke up, we came down for lunch. I made grilled cheese again and he loved it, and then he also had an entire container of applesauce with banana, and then he also had some ham and a slice of Colby cheese. He also had some puffs. He was a hungry little man!

After lunch he played while I watched Survivor and American Idol from last night.


He had a total of twelve ounces of formula today. It's definitely on the low side, but he ate a TON of solids. I am so happy with how well the feeding is going!!!

For dinner Gus had a whole banana, a whole container of his strawberry yogurt meal, and then some Honeycomb cereal (dry). He was making some funny faces while eating the yogurt so I grabbed my camera to take some pictures. This is what I was trying to capture:

I played with manual mode and automatic mode... it's so much easier to do automatic, but the flash is so harsh. With Gus being so squirmy wormy, it's really hard to get a good one in manual. I was pleased with this one. Here are some others that I took...all in automatic mode.






Now here are the ones I took in manual mode... some are a bit blurry, but that's what happens when you're trying to take pictures of a moving target!




They look so much more natural to me when they're in manual-- but it's so hard to pull off!!! Well...I somehow managed to take the best picture that I've EVER taken. It's totally in focus and is just gorgeous:
It takes my breath away... it's absolutely perfect. Ahhhhh....

So the picture was the perfect end to my picture taking for tonight. I'm off to bed...
>^..^<

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