Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Open Adoption Roundtable #27

Prompt: Write about a first meeting

I could write about the actual first meeting when we walked into the hospital room and met Gus for the first time, but I'm going to write about the first time that we met outside of the hospital/baptism and several months had passed.

We planned our trip to MI for February of 2011 and while we were there, we asked Gus's birth mother and father if they wanted to meet. The visit with his birth father and his family was first, and prior to the trip, his birth father's mother made a comment to me about not having enough time with Gus and that next time she wanted more. At the time, it threw me into a fit of rage and got me more upset than what was necessary. Looking back, she made a harmless comment and it was valid... they only got to spend about an hour with him and I'm sure would have loved to spend more.

Before I move forward, let me just say that when I suggested times and places for them, his birth father's mother (L) was the one who wanted 5:30 on a Thursday night (knowing  that Gus goes to bed around 7:30). So... she didn't have to pick that time and I offered Sunday from 3:00 to whenever (meaning they could spend as much time with his as they wanted) but she said she wanted Thursday.

So I had my guard up because of the problems with the adoption back in May... and they all stemmed from L. She put up quite the fight (understandably so) and made our two months in MI pure hell due to her refusal to cooperate at all, and her being so angry about us adopting Gus. It wasn't our fault that she didn't know about Gus... but she made us pay for it. It's something that's in the past, and we've all made peace and all is forgiven, but it's the reason I was so incredibly uncertain about our first meeting with them.

Anyway... when we walked into the location to meet all of them, I didn't know what to expect. I didn't know if they'd be nice, social, nervous, mean, judgmental. They were absolutely wonderful. 

I don't know why I let myself get so upset and nervous, but it was an amazing first visit and it was so nice to see them interacting with Gus. 

My parents came with us and they got to see how incredible it is for Gus to have a relationship with his birth family. 
Gus with his birth father's sisters (his aunts)

Gus and his birth father

Gus and his grandma

Gus with his birth father's side of our family

Our first visit with them was great and we wished we had more time with them too. 

Then we had our visit with Gus's birth mom's family. We had only met her and her mom, and were eager to meet her brothers and dad. 

They're such great people and when they walked in with smiles on their faces, we were so excited. 
Gus with his Grandma and birth mom

Meeting his Grandpa for the first time!


Gus and his uncle

Gus and maternal grandparents

Gus's birth mom's family

I've said it before, but open adoption really is amazing. Gus has two additional sides to his family that's full of people that adore him. His birth mom's side are such great people and they love him so much. 

I get nervous around his birth mom, but I'm sure it's normal. I'm totally in awe of her and feel like I can never say thank you enough to her-- my only way to show her how much she means to me is to smile, and love Gus like no one's business. I figure it's what she wanted for him... someone to love, adore, and bask in his sweetness each and every second of the day, and so I do. (It's easy!!)

We had hoped to go back to MI in May for his first birthday, but an unexpected trip in April made it impossible. We did get to go back in April for his finalization, and his birth mom was there along with her mom. It was so very special for them to come with us to court. We all went to lunch after, and we got to meet Gus's great-grandma!! It was her first time meeting us as well, and Gus is her only great-grandchild!! It was a wonderful trip, and we're eager to go back in a month.
At his finalization hearing

Ready for court!

Gus and his Great-Grandma!!

Four generations!!

This next time, we'll be meeting everyone for a whole day of loving on Gus. It should be a lot of fun for Gus, as he's running now... and they'll love having a lot of time with him. We can't wait!!

Each visit gets better and better and we feel so very blessed to have extended our family with such great people!!

I feel sorry for the many birth mothers and fathers, and their families, (and adoptive families) that do not have as open of an adoption as we do. I know there are a lot of people who would LOVE to have the type of adoption that we have, and I just pray that when we adopt again, we find a birth mother and father just as loving and open as Gus's.

We are so blessed!!


Post a Comment